Health Tips
By Dr. Xi'an Calhoun and Mrs. Toes Rosen, P.M.D.D.
Hot dogs get a bad rap for being unhealthy, but the truth is that if you focus on your whole health as a person, you can enjoy hot dogs in excess for decades to come. Below, please find a list of peer-reviewed health tips from our in-house health experts.
If you don't want to have to lose weight, don't get fat in the first place.
Experts estimate that more than 80% of people who lose significant weight will regain it all within five years.
If you do gain weight, buy bigger pants.
Pants the next size up are available for a mere fraction of the mental and financial cost of months of dieting.
If you want a turkey sandwich, you're probably hungry.
Listen to your body. Turkey sandwiches are full of protein, carbohydrates and calories - all things that make people feel less hungry.
If you can't eat a banana, you might be sick.
Bananas are frequently recommended as a snack because they are easy to eat. If you struggle to eat a banana, something is wrong.
Salt is actually good for you.
The Japanese eat tons of sodium, and they live forever. The average Japanese female life expectancy is 87.5 years!
Fat is also good for you.
Every single contestant on "Alone" who had to leave due to malnutrition did not get enough fat. Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to have a high metabolism to eat fat.
If certain foods give you diarrhea, you don't have to give them up if you stay near a toilet.
Ice cream or chicken wings got you "running?" Clear your calendar and post up near a bathroom. This too shall pass.
A gout diagnosis is not a death sentence to your lifestyle.
They make really good gout drugs so you don't have to stop drinking beer or eating meat. Plus, major dietary and weight changes are known to cause flares.
Quitting cigarettes is easier than you think.
Toss out those dirty Senecas and start vaping. Soon you'll be so addicted to nicotine that cigarettes won't even touch the cravings.
Don't do drugs that are bad for you.
Many popular drugs work by taking out a line of credit on tomorrow's happiness & well-being and you pay for it the next day. If you must, only do drugs that (a) don't make you feel like crap and (b) have no LD50.
Don't just sit around.
A sedentary lifestyle devoid of physical movement is depressing. Go for a walk, hike a mountain, dance at a show.
Go on adventures.
Your life shouldn't be Groundhog Day. It's important to mix it up and do new things.
Quit your job and retire.
How many people do you know who say they'd never work again if they could? Well, you can. Walk out and never return.
By Dr. Xi'an Calhoun and Mrs. Toes Rosen, P.M.D.D.
Hot dogs get a bad rap for being unhealthy, but the truth is that if you focus on your whole health as a person, you can enjoy hot dogs in excess for decades to come. Below, please find a list of peer-reviewed health tips from our in-house health experts.
If you don't want to have to lose weight, don't get fat in the first place.
Experts estimate that more than 80% of people who lose significant weight will regain it all within five years.
If you do gain weight, buy bigger pants.
Pants the next size up are available for a mere fraction of the mental and financial cost of months of dieting.
If you want a turkey sandwich, you're probably hungry.
Listen to your body. Turkey sandwiches are full of protein, carbohydrates and calories - all things that make people feel less hungry.
If you can't eat a banana, you might be sick.
Bananas are frequently recommended as a snack because they are easy to eat. If you struggle to eat a banana, something is wrong.
Salt is actually good for you.
The Japanese eat tons of sodium, and they live forever. The average Japanese female life expectancy is 87.5 years!
Fat is also good for you.
Every single contestant on "Alone" who had to leave due to malnutrition did not get enough fat. Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to have a high metabolism to eat fat.
If certain foods give you diarrhea, you don't have to give them up if you stay near a toilet.
Ice cream or chicken wings got you "running?" Clear your calendar and post up near a bathroom. This too shall pass.
A gout diagnosis is not a death sentence to your lifestyle.
They make really good gout drugs so you don't have to stop drinking beer or eating meat. Plus, major dietary and weight changes are known to cause flares.
Quitting cigarettes is easier than you think.
Toss out those dirty Senecas and start vaping. Soon you'll be so addicted to nicotine that cigarettes won't even touch the cravings.
Don't do drugs that are bad for you.
Many popular drugs work by taking out a line of credit on tomorrow's happiness & well-being and you pay for it the next day. If you must, only do drugs that (a) don't make you feel like crap and (b) have no LD50.
Don't just sit around.
A sedentary lifestyle devoid of physical movement is depressing. Go for a walk, hike a mountain, dance at a show.
Go on adventures.
Your life shouldn't be Groundhog Day. It's important to mix it up and do new things.
Quit your job and retire.
How many people do you know who say they'd never work again if they could? Well, you can. Walk out and never return.
